\u201cYo\u2026 I appreciate you for being real.\u201d<\/p>\n
That\u2019s one of the best compliments I can get after speaking. Not because it\u2019s flashy, but because it tells me the message actually connected.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve spoken in a lot of schools, and I\u2019ve seen this pattern over and over again. Schools bring in speakers, assemblies are planned, the message is important\u2026 but sometimes it just doesn\u2019t land the way we hoped. And it\u2019s not always because the content is wrong.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s because it doesn\u2019t feel real.<\/p>\n
Students can tell when something is polished but not personal, practiced but not present. They may not always say it out loud, but you can feel it in the room. The energy shifts. The attention drops.<\/p>\n
Over time, I\u2019ve learned something that has completely shaped how I approach speaking:<\/p>\n
Students don\u2019t connect with perfection. They connect with authenticity.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve seen speakers who are incredibly talented, great storytellers, great energy, great delivery. And sometimes it works. But other times, you can feel that it\u2019s the same exact talk they\u2019ve given a hundred times before.<\/p>\n
Same pauses. Same jokes. Same emotional beats.<\/p>\n
And students pick up on that.<\/p>\n
When it starts to feel like a performance instead of a conversation, students begin to disconnect. It feels more like watching a play than being part of something real. And in those moments, they\u2019re not asking, \u201cIs this good?\u201d They\u2019re asking, \u201cIs this you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Because what they really want isn\u2019t a perfect speaker. They want a real person.<\/p>\n
They want to hear what was hard. What didn\u2019t go your way. What you lost along the way, not just how everything turned out in the end. That\u2019s the part that feels honest. That\u2019s the part they can relate to.<\/p>\n
When I talk about realness, I\u2019m not saying don\u2019t prepare or don\u2019t be intentional. I\u2019m saying don\u2019t hide behind a version of yourself that feels safe but disconnected.
\nBeing real means I talk about my struggles just as much as my wins. It means I admit when I messed up. It means I don\u2019t try to make my story sound like I figured everything out on the first try, because I didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n
And honestly, neither did they.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve found that students respect directness. They don\u2019t need me to sugarcoat everything. But there\u2019s a difference between being direct and being disrespectful. You can tell the truth in a way that still shows you care.<\/p>\n
The more honest I am about my journey, the more I see students lean in. Not because the story is dramatic, but because it\u2019s real.<\/p>\n
One of the biggest shifts I\u2019ve made over the years is this: I stopped trying to be the highlight of the story, and I started trying to be a mirror.<\/strong><\/p>\n Early on, it\u2019s easy to fall into the trap of telling your story in a way that shows how far you\u2019ve come. And that matters, but if I\u2019m not careful, it turns into, \u201cLook at me now,\u201d instead of, \u201cHere\u2019s what I went through.\u201d<\/p>\n Students aren\u2019t sitting there wondering how successful I am today. They\u2019re wondering if anything I\u2019m saying connects to their life right now.<\/p>\n So I focus on the parts of my story that feel familiar to them. What I struggled with at their age. The pressure. The mistakes. The moments I didn\u2019t have it figured out.<\/p>\n When I do that, something changes in the room. Students start to see themselves in the story. And when they see themselves, they listen differently.<\/p>\n I also had to rethink how I share information.<\/p>\n I can stand on stage and show statistics, graduation rates, percentages\u2026 and I\u2019ve done that before. But let\u2019s be honest, how often does that actually stick with students or even adults? Not often.<\/p>\n So instead, I started doing something different. I bring participants up on stage. I ask them why education matters to them. And they give real answers about their families, their goals, what they want to prove, and what they want to change.<\/p>\n Then I introduce the data through them.<\/p>\n Now it\u2019s not just numbers. It\u2019s people. It\u2019s their peers. It\u2019s something they can see and feel. And when I tell them, \u201cThis is what the numbers say,\u201d it hits differently. Because now it\u2019s not abstract, it\u2019s personal.<\/p>\n That\u2019s the difference between presenting information and creating impact.<\/p>\n I\u2019ll be honest, being real isn\u2019t always easy.<\/p>\n It\u2019s easier to stick to a script. It\u2019s easier to control every moment, to know exactly what you\u2019re going to say and how it\u2019s going to land. But that\u2019s not where connection happens.<\/p>\n Connection happens when you\u2019re willing to be a little vulnerable. When you speak from a place that isn\u2019t perfectly polished.<\/p>\n One of the best pieces of advice I ever received came from my mentor, Consuelo Castillo Kickbush. She told me that if you speak from the heart and you speak your truth, it\u2019s really hard to mess up. Because it reminds me that my goal isn\u2019t to be perfect, it\u2019s to be honest.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re bringing someone onto your community to speak to your students, I would encourage you to look beyond the performance.<\/p>\n Ask yourself:<\/p>\n If someone is delivering the exact same talk, the exact same way, every single time, there\u2019s a good chance it\u2019s not truly connecting.<\/p>\n Students can tell when something is tailored for them and when it\u2019s not.<\/p>\n And that difference matters more than anything else.<\/p>\n Every time I step on a stage, I remind myself of one thing: I\u2019m not here to perform. I\u2019m here to connect.<\/strong><\/p>\n I\u2019m here to be honest about what I\u2019ve been through. Because at the end of the day, students won\u2019t remember the perfect lines or the polished delivery.<\/p>\n They\u2019ll remember how real it felt. And if it felt real, there\u2019s a much better chance it actually made a difference.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Introduction: What Students Really Mean When They Say \u201cBe Real\u201d \u201cYo\u2026 I appreciate you for being real.\u201d That\u2019s one of the best compliments I can get after speaking. Not because […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":203250,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[109,116],"tags":[],"formats":[],"class_list":["post-203248","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-career","category-professional-development"],"dsm_author":{"name":"Ernesto Mej\u00eda","avatar_url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1d4d5fe6d8ba8e6a7f4af7cd577c3f22da4e65d52345c50aec3cbd11dc88cacc?s=96&d=mm&r=g","archive_link":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/author\/ernestomejia\/","biodata":"Family Engagement Expert & Vice President<\/em>\r\nAs the proud son of Mexican immigrants and a first-generation college graduate, Ernesto inspires students, families, and educators with his journey of resilience and dedication to education. He aims to empower others to overcome challenges and achieve the American dream through meaningful engagement and impactful learning experiences."},"dsm_categories":[{"term_name":"Career","term_id":109,"term_link":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/category\/career\/"},{"term_name":"Professional Development","term_id":116,"term_link":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/category\/professional-development\/"}],"dsm_attachment_categories":[],"dsm_featured_image":{"thumbnail":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Header-Ernesto-PerfectSpeakers-150x150.png","medium":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Header-Ernesto-PerfectSpeakers-300x105.png","medium_large":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Header-Ernesto-PerfectSpeakers-768x269.png","large":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Header-Ernesto-PerfectSpeakers-1024x358.png","1536x1536":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Header-Ernesto-PerfectSpeakers-1536x538.png","2048x2048":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Header-Ernesto-PerfectSpeakers.png","et-pb-post-main-image":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Header-Ernesto-PerfectSpeakers-400x250.png","et-pb-post-main-image-fullwidth":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Header-Ernesto-PerfectSpeakers-1080x630.png","et-pb-portfolio-image":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Header-Ernesto-PerfectSpeakers-400x284.png","et-pb-portfolio-module-image":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Header-Ernesto-PerfectSpeakers-510x382.png","et-pb-portfolio-image-single":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Header-Ernesto-PerfectSpeakers-1080x378.png","et-pb-gallery-module-image-portrait":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Header-Ernesto-PerfectSpeakers-400x516.png","et-pb-post-main-image-fullwidth-large":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Header-Ernesto-PerfectSpeakers.png","et-pb-image--responsive--desktop":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Header-Ernesto-PerfectSpeakers-1280x448.png","et-pb-image--responsive--tablet":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Header-Ernesto-PerfectSpeakers-980x343.png","et-pb-image--responsive--phone":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Header-Ernesto-PerfectSpeakers-480x168.png","gform-image-choice-sm":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Header-Ernesto-PerfectSpeakers.png","gform-image-choice-md":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Header-Ernesto-PerfectSpeakers.png","gform-image-choice-lg":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Header-Ernesto-PerfectSpeakers.png","woocommerce_thumbnail":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Header-Ernesto-PerfectSpeakers-300x105.png","woocommerce_single":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Header-Ernesto-PerfectSpeakers-600x210.png","woocommerce_gallery_thumbnail":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Header-Ernesto-PerfectSpeakers-100x100.png","full":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Header-Ernesto-PerfectSpeakers.png"},"dsm_comment_count":0,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/203248","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/15"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=203248"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/203248\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/203250"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=203248"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=203248"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=203248"},{"taxonomy":"post_format","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fxv.digital\/cool\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/formats?post=203248"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Why Data Alone Doesn\u2019t Work (And What I Do Instead)<\/h4>\n
The Truth: Being Real Takes More Courage<\/h4>\n
\nI\u2019ve carried that with me ever since.<\/p>\nWhat I Would Tell Schools and Educators<\/h4>\n
\n
Conclusion: What I Focus on Every Time I Speak<\/h4>\n
\nI\u2019m here to create space for students to see themselves in the story.
\nI\u2019m here to say things in a way that actually hits, not just sounds good.<\/p>\n